Zephyr #AtoZChallenge

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I wished forever she would stay,

I wished to tell I love her…
This breeze reminds me of that day,

Like today it looked a lot similar…

As the guy who aped a mime,

I wonder if she still remembers me…

All these years, all this time,

Her stole always fills me with glee…

But soon formed a deep heart hole,

Coz she barely glanced at my face…

Surely she forgot her old stole,

Else why her rush through the place…

Oh my sparkling sunshine ray,

Who was I for her to stop?

All I wanted was for her to stay,

All she wanted was to leave my shop…

And then she stepped back a yard,

As her friends called her to return…

The light breeze turned strong & hard,

And my mind began to yearn…

Unable to sail & unable to steer,

I felt like a sinking ship…

I sensed my looming fear,

And my heartbeat went into a skip.

Too nervous to ask her - “Are you fine?”,

I stood speechless & scared…

When her eyes landed on mine,

An unspeakable bond I felt we shared…

I stared at her radiance & looks,

While standing with a sheepish gape…

She glanced at my stall & books,

While looking just like a scape…

Those luscious lips & rich hair,

I will miss her coy smile & angelic eyes…

As she walked out of the fair,

I heard my soul’s painful cries…

Together our hearts were meant to seal,

When we first met & saw each other…

Now all I can do is to feel,

And write about this sad smother…

Note : Today's poem has been recreated from an old poem - "A Rainy Day". 
See the prompt details here.

**This post is part of the A to Z April Challenge and the Ultimate Blog Challenge.**

**My theme for the A-Z April Challenge is "26 Days of Eloquent Writing".**

You... #AtoZChallenge

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With my heart filled with love and anticipation, I walked over to the mailbox today hoping to see a letter from you. 

But as always there was none. Reminiscing about our old memories welled up my eyes.

You were my sunshine. My reason to live. My confidante. 

Letting you go shall always remain my biggest mistake. Unaware of whether you exist or not today, I go to bed everyday with this hope in my mind that someday you will reach me. Until then I shall spend each day of this life… waiting.

"You were truly the one meant for me…"

**This post is part of the A to Z April Challenge and the Ultimate Blog Challenge.**

**My theme for the A-Z April Challenge is "26 Days of Eloquent Writing".**

e-X-uberance #AtoZChallenge

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I stared at you endlessly,

Clueless as I can be.

Watching you smile from the other end,

Thoroughly confused and distracted me.

This should've been a team play,

My blurry mind repeated all along.

You erased those thoughts by saying - 

“Just smile and sing a song.”

Walking towards you was a feat,

And this bridge a long trip.

Not once did you relent ever,

Never did you change your quip.

And then it struck me,

What you aimed to teach.

You are a true master,

One who’s always out of reach.

I rush over to embrace you,

And surprisingly you do too.

What seemed like a lifelong journey,

Was indeed a fun party you threw.

Some dread you, others even cry,

But you say - “Continue the faith.

Zest is what it takes to overcome,

Not misery and never-ending wraith.”

I hold you close and whisper,

“Hardships were and will always be rife,

But don't you worry because,

You are my one and only life.”

Note : Check out the poem prompt here.

**This post is part of the A to Z April Challenge and the Ultimate Blog Challenge.**

**My theme for the A-Z April Challenge is "26 Days of Eloquent Writing".**

The "250th" one ! :)

Just a couple of weeks ago, here I was looking through my posts and noticing that the 250th post should be coming along in the midst of the A to Z April Challenge. Now that the day has arrived, I am freaking out over what to say.

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So like always (you must have obviously guessed it by now :P), I am clueless what to write. Because just like life, my other blogging milestones also seemed to just pass at the blink of an eye.

I have no recollection as to when my 50th post got published or for that matter, even the 100th post. I felt so bad missing out on shouting from rooftops about my feat that I observed hard at my blog thereafter. And even harder so as to not miss the 150th post. Finally I caught it right on time and boy ! did I grab the opportunity. :D

I was so busy basking in the glory of the 150th post that I missed when the 200th post came along.

So for this post, even though I didn’t try and even though I am acting cool about it, here it is staring at my face and saying - “Come on now. Say something. Ain’t I special?” 

Special it is. Having started a blog 3 times over, I never knew I would get this far in the last attempt. Never thought of making so many friends that I can’t even count on my fingers anymore. Never knew that you could never run out of discovering amazing new blogs every single day of the year. Never knew that I had in me a little flair to write whatever I could while gawking awestruck at every other blogger on the amazing post they have just written. 

But it is not so special too for many reasons. For one, I haven't been blogging consistently like I want myself to do. Some days the thoughts won’t flow and on others I just won’t shake off the laziness to write. So while my 150th post came out over a year ago in January, this one has taken time to make its appearance. Also not to forget that reaching 250 posts in 4 years isn’t a huge achievement considering all my blogging peers have been there and done that in less than a year or two. 

Nevertheless, I need to stop today and say a big “Thank You”!

To the entire blogging community who always visited this page (whether or not I wrote) to stop, read my thoughts and reflect.

To all the friends I have made along this journey. You inspire me every moment.

To all the readers (random or not) because in today’s world sparing one’s time means you have just shared a part of your life with me however minuscule it may be.

And while I make no specific plans to celebrate, I do make this little promise to myself in my heart today - “to always write...”. :)

What if... #AtoZChallenge

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What

If you

Could tell me?

The 

One thing

That scares you.

What

If you

Could show me?

The 

Only person

Who loves you.

What

If you

Could understand me?

And

The countless

Feelings trapped within.

What 

If you

Could hear me?

And

Emerge alive

From the slumber.

Note : This kind of a poem is called a hay(na)ku. Check out today's prompt here.

**This post is part of the A to Z April Challenge and the Ultimate Blog Challenge.**

**My theme for the A-Z April Challenge is "26 Days of Eloquent Writing".**

A reality check of "ambitions"

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Ten years ago... around this time of the year, I was happy and relaxed. Because I was on vacation in the Middle East with my family having just completed my final year of college and was eagerly awaiting (or not!) for my results to see if I had become a graduate successfully. 

I also had 2 coveted job offers in hand (as part of the on-campus recruitments) but that didn’t change my outlook in any way. Stressed as I could be, I just hoped I had cleared the exams with decent marks if not with any flying colors. But everything ended well then as I cleared the exams with the highest marks and started work thereafter in a reputed organization. If you had asked me back then what my ambitions in life were - I would have given you a textbook answer. Because I knew what I wanted. A lifetime of good pay scales, financial independence, comforts of life and what have you.

Fast forward... by 5 years to a point in life, and I was married, still working and enjoying some of the above said life comforts. LP and I had just purchased our home together and life was looking good professionally and personally. A year later we landed in the US with even bigger aspirations and dreams.

I still wanted to continue work, watch my wage increase to a bigger pay, travel a lot and explore new places. Excellent feedback at work meant good news to me and I wished to things to remain and continue just like they were. But that’s when life started falling apart. 

As long as both LP and I worked in India, it meant being at the same office or at least same city and returning home at the end of the day to spend time with each other. After the first year in the US, both hubby and I were posted at different cities and suddenly we ended up like 2 different individuals who had 2 apartments to rent, 2 sets of groceries to buy, 2 sets of bills to pay and incurred an additional airline cost in order to meet each other every few weeks.

This went on for close to 10 months. If someone had asked about my ambitions back then, only one answer would have come to my mind - emotional happiness. Because I wasn’t happy. I would constantly find myself depressed over the fact that nothing in life felt good. Even the fat pay check I was getting seemed inadequate. Coordinating our vacations again meant a lot of stress. 

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Cut to 2013... and we decided to snap out of the still-persistent grind. When I sat down to rethink my options at work, the only one that would spring to mind was to quit my still-going-strong first job. That way I wouldn't have to stay away from LP in a different city or pay a second set of unnecessary bills. Add to the situation that we were expecting Baby Girl too and that kind of demanded taking things into our hand.

So yes, my ambitions changed yet again  but not because I made them change but because my life priorities changed. If I had still continued work as per the conditions and restrictions that it imposed on our lives back then, both of us wouldn't have been happy. Or healthy.

Today I am back at work in a totally different profession, earning less (for the moment) than what I used to make earlier. But I am happy. Satisfied. Content that I can juggle multiple things. I can physically be there for my toddler, manage my home and still work without going crazy at the end of the day. With the earlier job this wouldn't have been possible.

Having said all this, would I return to a job, in future, with prospects just like the earlier one ? Why not. If everything fits the bill then it definitely will be on the cards again.

But until then, life is good. :)

What would you do if suddenly, one day, you realize your ambitions have changed? 

**This post is part of the Ultimate Blog Challenge.**

Vows #AtoZChallenge

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“Life has been beautiful. Why wouldn’t it be? Because I always had you. My companion, soul mate and anchor. Your support sailed me through the hardest of struggles. Your encouragement made me what I am today. Your constant concern saw to it that I never have to worry about anything. 

Even when life took away the people I love - my father, mother or those close to me than my heart, I always knew I could fall back on your shoulders for comfort. I knew I could rest my head on your shoulders and feel at peace.

You have never been like the others. Not only did you truly care about me and our family, you always stood for us… along with us.

The vows that we took during our wedding will always stand proof of our love for each other.

We promised to be there for each other. In sickness and in health. Until death parts us. 

What those vows taught me was everlasting. They gave me a lifetime worth of love.

What they didn’t prepare me for was - today. Nobody prepared me to face this day. Not my parents, not my loved ones, not even you.

So what am I to do now ? How am I to reconcile to this fact ? To the truth that I am now "alone". 

I can only visualize you in my thoughts from here on and that very thought crushes me. 

If life gave me another chance, I vow I would call you back instantly. To go over our wedding vows again with you all over again. 

I vow to forever rest my head on your shoulders again and smile.

I vow to never let you go…”

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Note : A special someone has passed away from my life today and it just goes to prove time and again that - “Relations aren't built by blood alone”.

Today’s post is a piece of fiction written as a tribute to the one surviving without the other. It has been truly hard to write this. 

**This post is part of the A to Z April Challenge and the Ultimate Blog Challenge.**

**My theme for the A-Z April Challenge is "26 Days of Eloquent Writing".**

Until... #AtoZChallenge

Until you understand me,

Until you feel my emotion,

Until you listen to my ache,

Until you yearn my presence,

Until you pour your heart out,

Until you care for me,

Until the next heartbreak,

Until you speak to me on why this one happened,

Until you love me, 

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I choose to remain silent.

I choose to live as usual.

I choose to not express my tears.

I choose to look away and just smile.

I choose to hold my heart still.

I choose to keep caring for you.

I choose to nurse “this” heartbreak.

I choose to remember all the earlier happy times.

I choose to always love you from the bottom of my heart.

**This post is part of the A to Z April Challenge and the Ultimate Blog Challenge.**

**My theme for the A-Z April Challenge is "26 Days of Eloquent Writing".**

Tears #AtoZChallenge

As I wipe away my silent tears today, I realize - 

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I have been defeated but not anymore...

I feel subdued but need to emerge more powerful inside...

I feel nothing and yet everything at once...

I have been strong enough to endure the pain...

I have softened the long path ahead...

I have removed sorrow from within...

I recognize the good from the bad...

I am wary of my surroundings...

I am my own anchor...

I feel broken now but never again...

I have gained the knowledge I didn’t earlier...

I am at peace with myself...

I was, am and shall always be my own voice...

**This post is part of the A to Z April Challenge and the Ultimate Blog Challenge.**

**My theme for the A-Z April Challenge is "26 Days of Eloquent Writing".**

Seasons #AtoZChallenge

When spring arrives, I look forward to …

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• The vibrant green leaves waiting to sprout from their hibernation
• The lovely riot of colors of flowers and fruits
• The winds welcoming this change of weather
• The occasional rain showers blissfully soaking the Earth
• The fresh smell of the Earth after a rain shower

When summer arrives, I look forward to…

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• Absorbing the sunshine whilst sipping away my fresh juices and smoothies
• Playing at the beach and lots of water time
• All the sightseeing, road trips and weekend getaways
• Gazing at the passing clouds for endless hours
• Enjoying the sight of blue skies

When autumn arrives, I look forward to…

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• The perfect blend of fall foliage and Mother nature
• The long walks and endless scenic drives into wilderness 
• The pleasant chillness in the air 
• Black Friday shopping :P
• Long picnics with friends

When winter arrives, I look forward to…

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• Watching the glistening snow first thing in the morning
• Sipping my hot coffee comfortably snug on my couch with a book in my hand
• Exploring and experiencing New York
• Holiday season and the festivities
• Starting a new year filled with renewed hopes and aspirations

What are your favorite things to look forward to when seasons change ? :)

**This post is part of the A to Z April Challenge and the Ultimate Blog Challenge.**

**My theme for the A-Z April Challenge is "26 Days of Eloquent Writing".**

Routine #AtoZChallenge

No matter if it is fun or mundane, everyone has them. I have few things too that I do everyday irrespective of where I am. Before you get scared that I am about to flood this post with regular routines like brushing, bathing and the likes, I shall clarify that these are parts of a routine that we enjoy doing. Let me tell you 5 little things from my routine. :)

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1. Taking time to look at the skies

As soon as I am up in the morning, I drag myself to the nearest window. Looking at the blue skies and the rapid clouds, fills me with optimism to start the day. On other days, when it is raining or snowing, I still take the time watch the changing shades of nature. Be it gray or white. Now that we are at the onset of spring on this side of the world, I get to see beautiful trees blooming all around us. It’s so soothing to watch the hues of green appear after what seems like an eternity of winter. :)

2.  Talking to my loved ones

Even when there isn't much to share from either sides, I make it a point to call my family everyday. Since we video-chat, watching my parents, baby bro and the pet dalmatian go about their lives is a treat. I also enjoy the fact that they get to see all the developments of Baby Girl.

3. Read at least one inspiring thought

Reading when combined with inspirational thoughts is a great mix. Because of the ongoing April Challenge I have had the luck to read many inspiring thoughts on an ongoing basis. It encourages me to look deeper into myself and change one thing about me everyday. :)

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4. Count my blessings and be grateful

Yes, I ensure to complete this routine since I notice how often I fail to look at the little things and tend to take things for granted. The matter could be big or small. If it makes a difference in my life, I am grateful for it. 

5. Meditating

This is a good stress buster when I feel overwhelmed. I shut myself from the outside world and prefer to go into silent mode and concentrate on my breathing. Even a mere 10 minutes works wonders for me and helps me stride through the day.

Do you have any routine items that you enjoy doing ? Do share ! :)

**This post is part of the A to Z April Challenge and the Ultimate Blog Challenge.**

**My theme for the A-Z April Challenge is "26 Days of Eloquent Writing".**

Quitting right now! #AtoZChallenge

Yes I am quitting! Enough is enough. There is no looking back after this. 

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1. I quit junk food...

Although I have cut back on a “lot” of stuff that I previously ate as a kid or as a teenager, the lifestyle changes I made in the last 5 years have been a revelation. No soda or any other aerated drinks, no deep-fried snacks, no heavy/large meals (hello salads! :D), no white sugar (gradually moving to no sugar at all) and no processed foods (all frozen, ready-to-eat and what not!).

2. I quit being judgmental...

I accept it - I have been judgmental in the past. Haven't we all at some point or another ? It hurts both ways - being judged as well as realizing my incorrect judgement of someone else. Everyone has life struggles - some that we see and some that we don’t. It’s the ones that we don’t see that make us jump to conclusions, form an opinion and finally pass a judgement. Well, not anymore.

3. I quit procrastinating...

Even though I am on schedule with most of my goals, there always seems to be one tiny thing that lurks from the corner watching me at all times. Why ? Because it’s something I have been putting off forever. It isn't necessarily something that makes me uncomfortable and yet there it is always in the background wanting to jump forth and catch my attention. It’s time to grab all those little things that have been on my mind which need closure.

4. I quit being around people who make me unhappy...

Yes. I run away from such people even when life throws them again right back at my face. Because second chances exist for those who attempt to make a change. For the ones who revel in my misery, I strongly believe in the saying - “Once bitten twice shy”. So the next time I meet such a person - “Do we know each other?” :p

5. I quit worrying myself to death...

Easier said than done, but has to go on this list. Why do I need to worry myself over things that aren't concerned to me? Or about matters out of my control? Or about people who don’t deserve my attention? I’d rather choose to adore and treasure the love that envelopes me. I’d rather choose to appreciate what I have. I’d rather spend time feeling grateful about all that life has given me. Period.

If you could quit 5 things from your life right now, what would they be ? 

**This post is part of the A to Z April Challenge and the Ultimate Blog Challenge.**

**My theme for the A-Z April Challenge is "26 Days of Eloquent Writing".**

Why Do I Write?

My dear blog,

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Every time I visit you to write - it is with a purpose. On some days it is to declare my happiness. On some others it is pour a rant. Or on few other days when nothing clicks, inspiration evades me and all I can come up with is a random rambling. Whatever the reason all I do here is write. So today let me sit back and reflect on those purposes which make me want to come back here and just write.

It felt weird when I read this simple question today - “Why do you write?”. It was like one of the those times when our school science teachers asked such questions to help us understand a concept.

But why did it feel weird? 

Because I didn't have a ready answer even though I had a blog and was writing every now and then. It felt a lot easier to answer every other such basic question - 

“Why do you eat?” 

To stay alive… To satisfy my hunger… To remain healthy…

“Why do you sleep?” 

To rest my mind… To recharge my self… To feel fresh again…

And then I realized that while searching for the perfect answer (or maybe even an intellectual one :P) I had overlooked the obvious reasons standing right there in front of me.

I write because it keeps me alive... 

On a rainy day when I stare out of my window watching the rain drops fall outside I reminisce about many old memories. Moments that are etched in memory but never recorded in print. Sure, I have tons of pictures that capture my memories. But how in the world will a photo capture what my thoughts were on those days. And so I write.

When I write a poem or few random thoughts, I put down a piece of myself for future reading. It’s for me to read and treasure and also for others to read when I shall be gone.

I write because it helps me stay healthy...

Now how’s that possible? In our daily lives, when we speak, we share what we feel - happy thoughts, sad feelings, anger, pride and what not. But what about those few feelings/thoughts which are trapped in our minds. The thoughts or things we wished to say but couldn't - maybe because of wrong timing or unfavorable situations. And so I write.

To help clear my head of such non-communicated thoughts. To voice out my words. To release thoughts that have been stopping me from moving ahead.

I write because I feel fresh again...

When I write I am resting because my mind is away from all negative thoughts or everyday tensions. It is purely focused on writing which helps me divert myself even if it’s for a short while. I have been blogging for a challenge this month and it helps me concentrate on a single piece of writing everyday. 

“So whatever your reason, 
Just write. 
Write to feel good, 
write to let go 
Or even if there isn't a reason, 
Just write.”

**This post is part of the Ultimate Blog Challenge.**