August 2, 2016

Don't judge me

Source

You look me in the eye and have me all figured out. 
You feel you know me right from the day I was born.
You form an opinion and think it right to label me such. 
You boast to others of who you think I am and how you think I should be.
You don’t ask me to explain myself and look away when I resist.
You don’t care about my feelings and you will never.
You are a part of my life today and know that you matter to me.
You made me work hard and then pushed me to work harder some more,
You made me change myself,
You made me forget who I actually was before,

But…

I am not what I seem and there is so much of what you don’t know,
I got to know you because I picked you,
I never got to show or tell you what I actually am,
I never got to defend your thoughts about me to others,
I kept quiet even when I was brought down emotionally,
I have been taunted by you and always dread for another instance,
I am a part of your life too and I matter to you as well,
I accepted the change until I chose to detest it openly,
I broke my limits and surged so far ahead I can never look back,
I wonder at myself and question - “Is this really me?”

I believe people come into our lives for a reason. Just as how I believe that everything happens for a reason. However, even though instances may or may not change us as an individual, there are people who bring out that change in us. Here’s to all such people who came into my life, who taught me important life lessons, who showed me how strong one needs to be, who proved that I need to be more compassionate but I should never expect the same and who finally left me as I stood confused for answers. 

Try as much as I can, I can never ignore the pain some of them brought along and even though there are a million reasons to look up on a particularly low day, my mind races back to that one day when I couldn’t say what I wanted to say. Time has definitely healed the pain and I have undoubtedly learnt to push away my hard feelings. They have taught me to keep my head up always in anticipation of a brand new day.

Nobody wants to carry along a grudge in their hearts, but do you ever wonder what if things could have gone better in certain relationships ?

Do share.

**Linking with Day 2 of the #BarAThon Challenge  from 1st to 7th August 2016**

Also linking with #MondayMusings. 
Source

Yours' truly,

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20 comments:

  1. This is intense, and laced with the truth. Very nice.

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    1. Thanks for visiting, Mayuri. Glad you liked the post. :)

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  2. Truly. People come to our lives as teachers to teach us lessons.
    Hope all is well at the end.

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    1. Thanks for visiting, Anita :) I believe people teach us very important lessons in life and through experiences, they help us realize that we need to grow further and better.

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  3. I never want to take grudge but a few incidents where I couldn't talk what I wanted to are difficult to forget. I take lesson from them. Even if i cannot avoid such incidents in future, atleast I want to handle those incidents more maturely now. Nice take on prompt ☺

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    1. Thanks for visiting, Mahathi. Yes, I also tend to reminisce how I could have answered better in some instances so as to regain my peace of mind but due to circumstances that never happened. So yes, lessons learnt and also a lot of precaution for the future. :) Glad you liked my post.

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  4. I guess we all wonder about what ifs... When I look back I wonder what if I had said this or what if I had done that... But as you said everything happens for a reason. Glad you are at a better place now.

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    1. Thanks Rajlakshmi. When I come to think of past instances, I try to answer the questions that pop up in mind. But they never lead me anywhere. So I conclude that everything happens for a reason and move on. So lessons learnt. :)

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  5. I do. But over time I have realized the futility of pondering over the what-ifs. It doesn't change anything, except makes the present more miserable. And the last thing I want is to add to the list of what-ifs by ignoring the present, which will soon become the past. Though I have done that too. Which is why..lesson learnt. :)

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    1. Thanks for visiting Shantala. The hard part is - I take a long time to acknowledge the lesson an experience taught me and I am sure, others take time too. Moving on is the best thing to do just that our heart and / or our brain decides when. ;)

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  6. While we are in the midst of painful situations and naive people we never realize how without our knowledge we are changing. Sometimes the negativity fills up while at other instances we come out better. I actually feel that we are our best friends, only, we listen less to our heart.

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    1. Thanks for visiting, Ira. I agree with you. We change and learn with every experience. :)

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  7. I don't know about grudges...as in I try not to hold them. It's difficult at times, but I guess everyone comes into our lives for a reason - sometimes to teach a lesson. Sometimes, to be taught a lesson :)

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    1. Thanks for visiting Sid. Yes I agree. For one, I always make an attempt to figure out why certain incidents happened in a particular way and if it was benefitting for anyone. But as you mentioned, it is hard to overlook some times. Maybe that's the reason we tend to get overcautious the next time. :)

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  8. People do come into our lives for a reason and that reason is always to "TEACH" us something.i believe so.

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    1. Thanks for visiting Nisha. Yes you're right. People always give us take-aways and teach us lessons. :)

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  9. This touched some raw parts of me that are taking too long to heal. If people only realized how much words can hurt. You did a great job of tapping into our emotions.

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    1. Thanks Carol. And I am sorry to have rubbed your open wounds. The thing is when disappointment sets in, all I do is repent and wonder how others go about such instances in their lives. Here's hoping & praying everything turns out well for you too. :)

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  10. Every person in our life plays an important role, even if that role is the one of a villain! After all, life wouldn't be half as interesting but for all the excitement, drama and pain that it offers!

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  11. Lovely and this post is so real that I was able to relate to it. very well written.

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