Aim for the sky always... #FridayReflections

It’s funny how the possibility of a new venture or the opportunity to step out of our comfort zone, sends us into a frenzy. The simplest doubt crops up in our minds and we get bogged down with the same old predictable questions. 

Will I succeed ? Will I make it to my destination without getting disappointed ? What if things don't go as planned ? 

What if I fail ?

Even before we get a feel of the journey, let alone success, we fear the worst and finally step back. For once why can't we relax our minds, stop brainstorming on the possible negative outcomes of a situation, and focus on our aspirations ? And it doesn't even have to be revolving our work related apprehensions alone. Even in relationships we find ourselves confused with the same worries.

I am no different from the others when it comes to fearing about failure. But I also know what I would attempt to do if I was guaranteed never to fail.

1. Be more friendly

Thanks to life experiences, when it comes to friendships or building new relationships, there always a realm of caution in my mind. Because let’s face it. People let us down. Sometimes it’s the people who matter the most to us, on the other occasions it’s the unexpected ones who turn out to be the smarter lot. 

If I knew I wouldn't get hurt or be let down by others in return, I could get to be myself. I wouldn't have to worry about others hating me or turning me down.

2. Be more courageous

So that I could take more risks. To dream bigger. To perform difficult feats like sky-diving. Or bungee-jumping. Take every day as it comes. Literally.

3. Be more imaginative

Many a times, our lives are controlled by our own shortcomings. Financial support, incomplete or inadequate education, mortgages on everything in life - home, a world tour, even basic living expenses.

If only, I could erase all my worries by a single stroke of a wand to actually imagine my life devoid of any limitations. To perceive the life that I want, that I wish to live. If only…

But what we truly need to acknowledge here is that failure isn't bad. Maybe it’s the best way for the Universe to tell us that it was not meant to be the first time. That something larger is in store with better results. That we needed to fail in order to emerge victorious the next time.

That life is all about “second chances”. That, no matter how hard you fall down this time, you always aim for the sky :)

Tell me, what would your aspirations or goals be if you knew that you could never fail ? 

A to Z Reflections 2015 #AtoZChallenge

“Your writing voice is the deepest possible reflection of who you are. The job of your voice is not to seduce or flatter or make well-shaped sentences. In your voice, your readers should be able to hear the contents of your mind, your heart, your soul.”

- Meg Rosoff

And that was my motto for the A to Z April Challenge 2015 which ended last week. It’s funny how even though the challenge has ended I find myself in a rhythm of going over everyone’s blogs, reading old or new posts and constantly updating my blog calendar.

Since the past couple of months I have been in a sort of unexplained frenzy. A first timer in this challenge, like everyone else, my initial thoughts were apprehensive. In my head, surviving a month long blogging challenge seemed like an impossible task (only for me) considering how I am constantly drawn in multiple directions all through the day.

And I was indeed wrong. 

Last month, I discovered new capabilities in myself. I learnt new lessons and most of all, I enjoyed writing. 

Lesson 1 - I loved the concept of having a theme because it paved my thoughts in a specific direction. 

Lesson 2 - You don’t need much time to publish a post as long as you are focused on the letter of the day.

Lesson 3 - Blogging is as much as easy as any other day-to-day task. A routine is what helps set it in motion.

Although I was prepared with a theme and roughly 13-15 auto-scheduled posts,  it was the second half of the month which seemed the hardest. Thanks to the weather bug, the entire household came down feeling sick and that slumped my writing or rather my strength to keep up. Nevertheless, I have been better than most other challenges.

As the above quote suggests, writing for this challenge helped bring out few heart-felt emotions on the paper. While the most part of my writing looked like pieces of fiction, I did write about real-life experiences to see how my readers would react given the same situation.

I also dabbled with different forms of writing during the month ranging from different kinds of poetry to 100-word drabbles to open letters to lists and eventually matters close to my heart. I kept it like a month long initiative by blogging for Friday Reflections which again kept me thinking and reflecting on the past days. It has been a fun experience and most of all it opened the world to an amazing community of bloggers and blogs likewise - as always.

Can I end this post without thanking the wonderful bloggers who took the time to come visit my space and leave their thoughts everyday. I think not. :)

While I may enlist only a few bloggers here (in no particular order) right now, I am deeply grateful to all those who visited. You made my day everyday last month and in turn showed me how I can never run out of reading good inspirational blog posts each day of my life. :) Thank You !

1. The Moving Quill by Shailaja V
2. Shanaya Tales by Shantala Nayak
3. Living my Imperfect Life by Sanch Vee
4. Everyday Gyaan by Corinne Rodrigues
5. A Rose is a Rose is a Rose by Shilpa Garg
6. Blog-A-Rhythm by Shailaja V and many other talented bloggers from the sphere
7. A Tale of Two Tomatoes by Shalini Nair
8. Life Under Microscope by Prasanna Rao
9. Happiness and Food by Parul Kashyap Thakur
10. Blogging from A to Z Challenge (where it all began ! :))
11. Expressions by Nibha Gupta
12. Void Thoughts by Vinitha Dileep
13. Xpress your Essence by Elly Stornebrink
14. Alphabet Salad by Laurel Regan
15. Flightless Birds Thoughtful Wings by Swathi Shenoy
16. A Global Fusionista by Eli Ertresvaag
17. Write with Fey by Chrys Fey

I definitely see myself returning for this challenge next year and until then, till we meet again… :)

“My role in society, or any artist's or poet's role, is to try and express what we all feel. Not to tell people how to feel. Not as a preacher, not as a leader, but as a reflection of us all.”

- John Lennon

Zephyr #AtoZChallenge

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I wished forever she would stay,

I wished to tell I love her…
This breeze reminds me of that day,

Like today it looked a lot similar…

As the guy who aped a mime,

I wonder if she still remembers me…

All these years, all this time,

Her stole always fills me with glee…

But soon formed a deep heart hole,

Coz she barely glanced at my face…

Surely she forgot her old stole,

Else why her rush through the place…

Oh my sparkling sunshine ray,

Who was I for her to stop?

All I wanted was for her to stay,

All she wanted was to leave my shop…

And then she stepped back a yard,

As her friends called her to return…

The light breeze turned strong & hard,

And my mind began to yearn…

Unable to sail & unable to steer,

I felt like a sinking ship…

I sensed my looming fear,

And my heartbeat went into a skip.

Too nervous to ask her - “Are you fine?”,

I stood speechless & scared…

When her eyes landed on mine,

An unspeakable bond I felt we shared…

I stared at her radiance & looks,

While standing with a sheepish gape…

She glanced at my stall & books,

While looking just like a scape…

Those luscious lips & rich hair,

I will miss her coy smile & angelic eyes…

As she walked out of the fair,

I heard my soul’s painful cries…

Together our hearts were meant to seal,

When we first met & saw each other…

Now all I can do is to feel,

And write about this sad smother…

Note : Today's poem has been recreated from an old poem - "A Rainy Day". 
See the prompt details here.

**This post is part of the A to Z April Challenge and the Ultimate Blog Challenge.**

**My theme for the A-Z April Challenge is "26 Days of Eloquent Writing".**

You... #AtoZChallenge

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With my heart filled with love and anticipation, I walked over to the mailbox today hoping to see a letter from you. 

But as always there was none. Reminiscing about our old memories welled up my eyes.

You were my sunshine. My reason to live. My confidante. 

Letting you go shall always remain my biggest mistake. Unaware of whether you exist or not today, I go to bed everyday with this hope in my mind that someday you will reach me. Until then I shall spend each day of this life… waiting.

"You were truly the one meant for me…"

**This post is part of the A to Z April Challenge and the Ultimate Blog Challenge.**

**My theme for the A-Z April Challenge is "26 Days of Eloquent Writing".**

e-X-uberance #AtoZChallenge

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I stared at you endlessly,

Clueless as I can be.

Watching you smile from the other end,

Thoroughly confused and distracted me.

This should've been a team play,

My blurry mind repeated all along.

You erased those thoughts by saying - 

“Just smile and sing a song.”

Walking towards you was a feat,

And this bridge a long trip.

Not once did you relent ever,

Never did you change your quip.

And then it struck me,

What you aimed to teach.

You are a true master,

One who’s always out of reach.

I rush over to embrace you,

And surprisingly you do too.

What seemed like a lifelong journey,

Was indeed a fun party you threw.

Some dread you, others even cry,

But you say - “Continue the faith.

Zest is what it takes to overcome,

Not misery and never-ending wraith.”

I hold you close and whisper,

“Hardships were and will always be rife,

But don't you worry because,

You are my one and only life.”

Note : Check out the poem prompt here.

**This post is part of the A to Z April Challenge and the Ultimate Blog Challenge.**

**My theme for the A-Z April Challenge is "26 Days of Eloquent Writing".**

The "250th" one ! :)

Just a couple of weeks ago, here I was looking through my posts and noticing that the 250th post should be coming along in the midst of the A to Z April Challenge. Now that the day has arrived, I am freaking out over what to say.

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So like always (you must have obviously guessed it by now :P), I am clueless what to write. Because just like life, my other blogging milestones also seemed to just pass at the blink of an eye.

I have no recollection as to when my 50th post got published or for that matter, even the 100th post. I felt so bad missing out on shouting from rooftops about my feat that I observed hard at my blog thereafter. And even harder so as to not miss the 150th post. Finally I caught it right on time and boy ! did I grab the opportunity. :D

I was so busy basking in the glory of the 150th post that I missed when the 200th post came along.

So for this post, even though I didn’t try and even though I am acting cool about it, here it is staring at my face and saying - “Come on now. Say something. Ain’t I special?” 

Special it is. Having started a blog 3 times over, I never knew I would get this far in the last attempt. Never thought of making so many friends that I can’t even count on my fingers anymore. Never knew that you could never run out of discovering amazing new blogs every single day of the year. Never knew that I had in me a little flair to write whatever I could while gawking awestruck at every other blogger on the amazing post they have just written. 

But it is not so special too for many reasons. For one, I haven't been blogging consistently like I want myself to do. Some days the thoughts won’t flow and on others I just won’t shake off the laziness to write. So while my 150th post came out over a year ago in January, this one has taken time to make its appearance. Also not to forget that reaching 250 posts in 4 years isn’t a huge achievement considering all my blogging peers have been there and done that in less than a year or two. 

Nevertheless, I need to stop today and say a big “Thank You”!

To the entire blogging community who always visited this page (whether or not I wrote) to stop, read my thoughts and reflect.

To all the friends I have made along this journey. You inspire me every moment.

To all the readers (random or not) because in today’s world sparing one’s time means you have just shared a part of your life with me however minuscule it may be.

And while I make no specific plans to celebrate, I do make this little promise to myself in my heart today - “to always write...”. :)

What if... #AtoZChallenge

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What

If you

Could tell me?

The 

One thing

That scares you.

What

If you

Could show me?

The 

Only person

Who loves you.

What

If you

Could understand me?

And

The countless

Feelings trapped within.

What 

If you

Could hear me?

And

Emerge alive

From the slumber.

Note : This kind of a poem is called a hay(na)ku. Check out today's prompt here.

**This post is part of the A to Z April Challenge and the Ultimate Blog Challenge.**

**My theme for the A-Z April Challenge is "26 Days of Eloquent Writing".**

A reality check of "ambitions"

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Ten years ago... around this time of the year, I was happy and relaxed. Because I was on vacation in the Middle East with my family having just completed my final year of college and was eagerly awaiting (or not!) for my results to see if I had become a graduate successfully. 

I also had 2 coveted job offers in hand (as part of the on-campus recruitments) but that didn’t change my outlook in any way. Stressed as I could be, I just hoped I had cleared the exams with decent marks if not with any flying colors. But everything ended well then as I cleared the exams with the highest marks and started work thereafter in a reputed organization. If you had asked me back then what my ambitions in life were - I would have given you a textbook answer. Because I knew what I wanted. A lifetime of good pay scales, financial independence, comforts of life and what have you.

Fast forward... by 5 years to a point in life, and I was married, still working and enjoying some of the above said life comforts. LP and I had just purchased our home together and life was looking good professionally and personally. A year later we landed in the US with even bigger aspirations and dreams.

I still wanted to continue work, watch my wage increase to a bigger pay, travel a lot and explore new places. Excellent feedback at work meant good news to me and I wished to things to remain and continue just like they were. But that’s when life started falling apart. 

As long as both LP and I worked in India, it meant being at the same office or at least same city and returning home at the end of the day to spend time with each other. After the first year in the US, both hubby and I were posted at different cities and suddenly we ended up like 2 different individuals who had 2 apartments to rent, 2 sets of groceries to buy, 2 sets of bills to pay and incurred an additional airline cost in order to meet each other every few weeks.

This went on for close to 10 months. If someone had asked about my ambitions back then, only one answer would have come to my mind - emotional happiness. Because I wasn’t happy. I would constantly find myself depressed over the fact that nothing in life felt good. Even the fat pay check I was getting seemed inadequate. Coordinating our vacations again meant a lot of stress. 

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Cut to 2013... and we decided to snap out of the still-persistent grind. When I sat down to rethink my options at work, the only one that would spring to mind was to quit my still-going-strong first job. That way I wouldn't have to stay away from LP in a different city or pay a second set of unnecessary bills. Add to the situation that we were expecting Baby Girl too and that kind of demanded taking things into our hand.

So yes, my ambitions changed yet again  but not because I made them change but because my life priorities changed. If I had still continued work as per the conditions and restrictions that it imposed on our lives back then, both of us wouldn't have been happy. Or healthy.

Today I am back at work in a totally different profession, earning less (for the moment) than what I used to make earlier. But I am happy. Satisfied. Content that I can juggle multiple things. I can physically be there for my toddler, manage my home and still work without going crazy at the end of the day. With the earlier job this wouldn't have been possible.

Having said all this, would I return to a job, in future, with prospects just like the earlier one ? Why not. If everything fits the bill then it definitely will be on the cards again.

But until then, life is good. :)

What would you do if suddenly, one day, you realize your ambitions have changed? 

**This post is part of the Ultimate Blog Challenge.**

Vows #AtoZChallenge

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“Life has been beautiful. Why wouldn’t it be? Because I always had you. My companion, soul mate and anchor. Your support sailed me through the hardest of struggles. Your encouragement made me what I am today. Your constant concern saw to it that I never have to worry about anything. 

Even when life took away the people I love - my father, mother or those close to me than my heart, I always knew I could fall back on your shoulders for comfort. I knew I could rest my head on your shoulders and feel at peace.

You have never been like the others. Not only did you truly care about me and our family, you always stood for us… along with us.

The vows that we took during our wedding will always stand proof of our love for each other.

We promised to be there for each other. In sickness and in health. Until death parts us. 

What those vows taught me was everlasting. They gave me a lifetime worth of love.

What they didn’t prepare me for was - today. Nobody prepared me to face this day. Not my parents, not my loved ones, not even you.

So what am I to do now ? How am I to reconcile to this fact ? To the truth that I am now "alone". 

I can only visualize you in my thoughts from here on and that very thought crushes me. 

If life gave me another chance, I vow I would call you back instantly. To go over our wedding vows again with you all over again. 

I vow to forever rest my head on your shoulders again and smile.

I vow to never let you go…”

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Note : A special someone has passed away from my life today and it just goes to prove time and again that - “Relations aren't built by blood alone”.

Today’s post is a piece of fiction written as a tribute to the one surviving without the other. It has been truly hard to write this. 

**This post is part of the A to Z April Challenge and the Ultimate Blog Challenge.**

**My theme for the A-Z April Challenge is "26 Days of Eloquent Writing".**

Until... #AtoZChallenge

Until you understand me,

Until you feel my emotion,

Until you listen to my ache,

Until you yearn my presence,

Until you pour your heart out,

Until you care for me,

Until the next heartbreak,

Until you speak to me on why this one happened,

Until you love me, 

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I choose to remain silent.

I choose to live as usual.

I choose to not express my tears.

I choose to look away and just smile.

I choose to hold my heart still.

I choose to keep caring for you.

I choose to nurse “this” heartbreak.

I choose to remember all the earlier happy times.

I choose to always love you from the bottom of my heart.

**This post is part of the A to Z April Challenge and the Ultimate Blog Challenge.**

**My theme for the A-Z April Challenge is "26 Days of Eloquent Writing".**