Quiet Birthdays...

So my birthday just went by a few days ago. Unlike the other years, there were less phone calls this time around, less cakes to cut & no shopping at all ! (Not that I mean to splurge my or M's income on clothes I impulsively like but don't see myself wearing it 2 months down the line.)

Just made me reminisce older birthdays when wishes would start pouring in at the stroke of midnight. And surprising, you would not feel sleepy on such days while Mom Dad, as usual, preferred retiring early :-) As the minute hand slowly made it's way through every minute, the eyes would constantly look up to a timepiece to make sure the remaining time to the stroke. Calls would go in as long as 1 AM and then sweet sleep in eager anticipation of what the day ahead holds out to you.

The morning would then begin with Amma & Appa wishing you & singing "Happy Birthday" songs. Would right away set off a nice smile on the face. Everything would be special for the birthday girl that day. Right from the morning coffee to a delicious lunch & maybe an outside dinner at a good restaurant. Not to forget, the cash gifts by elders. 

Temple visits are a must & special puja is done every year wishing for God's blessings.

A close Dr. aunt (family friend & Mom's class mate) would specifically make it a point to call & wish me & also to remind me how she was present at the hospital during my birth & had taken me to emergency ward for some complications. She would go on to say how fast time flies & how the little girl is all grown up now.

Baby bro was never left behind too. He would definitely make it a point to call at 12 AM & would ask - "So akka, what's special today?" And again at the end of the day - "So how was your day? Did you enjoy it?" :-) Awww ... how sweet !

During school days, though the tradition of 12 AM calls or wishes never existed, the excitement to get to school in a brand new dress with chocolates to share with everyone, was definitely the most mind-blowing thing in the world. Sure enough, because you don't want to miss the day when you get to wear something different & feel proud that the others take notice. Also the famous "Happy Birthday to G" sung by all the kids in new scales of music with varying symphony is the most awaited. It's a moment you wait for in the entire year. Bask in all the glory on that day. Aah, the childhood days !

During the evenings, either you have a cake cutting or a special dessert at home (the best kind made by Mommy dear), gifts from friends & birthday cards. 

During college days, this definitely is not the routine because no one sings for you & no one takes notice of you (Oh ya, everyone in normal, casual everyday clothes. How, in the world, does it matter if you wear a supposedly new dress to college?). But the 1 most important thing to never forget is treating your friends. They take you out to a decent looking restaurant or pizza place (leaving aside the usual chai tapris or sandwich corners) & eat like they have never eaten in years. And while they burp on the sumptuous feast that they just had, you can count the pocket money & see how much you fall short :-) It all compensates when they get a cute "Monginis" birthday cake for dessert. Yes, those are the good old days.

I have always made it a point to save the greeting cards I received for my birthdays. The number keeps growing every year & so do the memories. It feels good to have a look at the older cards & love the fact that people took the time to remember you on your special day. While we were growing up in Bahrain, Baby bro & I always received cards from grand-parents, uncles & aunts. And this is what I do too. Whether or not you get a gift, a greeting card always has to accompany the occasion. What say?

As you grow older, birthdays seem to get busier by the year. With never-ending work, pressure & deadlines to meet - it's not always possible to take an off from work to celebrate it. I really appreciate the fact that certain organizations provide a day-off when it is the employee's birthday. Special occasions don't happen every day especially - your birthday. Why miss taking some quality time off for yourself? 

While all this still happens today irrespective of what age you are, birthdays can be a lot quieter when you are away from home in another country. But they don't turn out any less special.

When you are a kid, your parents plan the day for you, when you are in college, your friends plan the day for you & once you get married, your better half plans the day for you.

This year, as time approached, I found M constantly checking at the clock. Along side, we were also watching a Malayalam movie on the laptop & the movie had reached a critical twist. At the stroke of midnight, I glanced at the laptop time & smiled. M was deeply engrossed in the movie & didn't notice. At 12.04 AM, the movie showed a scene where in the grandfather clock strikes 5 AM. M realized the time & quickly started singing - "Happy Birthday to you". It was sweet & hilarious. Ha ha ! He admitted it later saying - "I kept close vigil till 11.58 PM but got distracted after that." :-p

I cut a small cheesecake slice for my birthday cake & received a birthday card. Yippee... ! Also a cute looking beaver which repeats everything you say. :-)

Immediately, we made calls to near & dear in India to receive their blessings. Close friends kept me awake till 2 AM whiling away time on Skype trying to understand what's going on new in life rather than wishing me :-) 

At 2.30 AM, my dear teacher & dance buddies called up to wish & sang a rapid - "Happy Birthday & we miss you" song. 

The day was pretty normal. I did some assignments for the creative writing class early in the morning & attended all other daily chores. M took charge of the kitchen for the day preparing special lunch & sweets. In the evening, he took me out for an Italian dinner which was very exquisite. 

There was a time when the phone didn't stop ringing on the birthdays & now-a-days the same never-ending wishes were flooded on my Facebook page. :-) 

I am not complaining. It's how birthdays look different every year....

Going on a "Date" !

Don't get me wrong. :-) I am indeed going on a date but not with M.

A new concept I learnt in the "Creative Writing" class called an "Artist Date".

Julia Cameron, author of "The Right to Write" says - 

"As writers, we draw on an inner fund of images that I call 'the well'.

I think of this well like an inner pond, one that must be kept both stocked & freely flowing. 

Very often, creative work dries up precisely when it is going so well. 

That means we have simply over-fished our inner reservoir without having taken the time & care to consciously restock our storehouse of images.

The device I use to restock the pond is a very simple one, something which I call an 'Artist Date'."

So simply put, an Artist Date is a once-weekly solitary expedition to something festive that interests us. It can be a visit to a museum, an aquarium store, a trip to the fabric store... just about anything.

The point is to go somewhere & to go there alone. 

Why alone? We go alone because an Artist Date is half "artist" and half "date". You are romancing, wooing, courting your creative consciousness. This is something that requires you & your inner artist to spend time alone. Taking the time & care to restock our inner well makes writing a far easier proportion.

So off I go, to decide on a place for this week's Artist Date which is also my homework. 

Suggestions are most welcome. :)

Seeking Divinity

The main thing I miss at abroad locations, is going to a temple. And US is no different.
I re-located to Cincinnati, Ohio close to 2 months ago, started visiting the client office, moved to a new apartment, set up the home, purchased a car & began work in full-swing.

But some where all this turned out very mechanical with the above things just been completed as tasks on a list. There is always something amiss when I am away from God. I did bring few pictures of Gods from India, a diya & my prayer books. And yet, the same feeling never sinks in like you are at India.

Ok, now that everything else was set at work & home, the search for a temple in the vicinity began. As expected, I could not locate one at walking distance from my home.

I am a staunch believer in God & like to visit his shrine every now & then. It need not be a temple too. It only has to be a place with His presence. It keeps me at peace. Even when we were growing up in the Middle East, my parents would always take my brother & me to the temple, irrespective of whether it was an occasion or not. Now, this doesn't mean that you are different if you don't visit a temple. There are individuals who prefer to pray at heart & believe in God in the same way as any one else. It's what you believe in & how you prefer to follow it.

The first thing I lost touch with, after moving here, was festivals. In the last minute arrangements before traveling, I conveniently forgot to pack a spiritual calendar. You do get all the information on the internet but somewhere a new lifestyle can initially put you off track till you take charge.

Few days back, it was during a chat session with my friend, HK, that I realized, the next day was Krishna Janmashtami or Gokulashtami (the day Lord Krishna was born). Now, usually I rely on my mom for such information. She knows how her daughter efficiently manages the household (pun intended :)) & thus mom never refrains from informing me the important dates & functions to watch out for. On this occasion, however, mom probably missed out on telling me the actual date. 

I immediately Googled & found a Hindu temple at a half hour's distance from home. The day was charted out with M, that we are visiting the temple for the puja. It was an amazing experience. The location of the temple was just beautiful. The festivals are not celebrated entirely the same way as we do back home but nevertheless, it feels great ! 

Lastly, posting a couple of pics of the prayer spot set up at home. 

This spot is still work in progress. :)

Speaking of which, Ganesh Chaturthi is one festival I always look forward to while at Mumbai & this year, it will be fondly remembered... Ganapati Bappa Morya....

Learning Creativity

I stumbled upon this catalog one day, which arrived in the daily mail. The catalog was a mini-booklet of all adult education classes conducted at Cincinnati. It contained short term courses right from English speaking classes to Accountancy,  Law, Flower Arrangement skills, Medical Sciences, Phlebotomy and what not !
One such course which caught my eye was "Creative Writing". 

It said - This course is designed to open your own personal portal to the untapped imagery and ideas that swirl in your brain. It is a workshop to provide each student insight into the “idea” of creative writing and the practice of creative writing. 

But how does one learn creativity? Shouldn't the idea be to help unlock ideas so they can be transformed into words?

Well, I will just have to wait & see. Really curious & super-excited of what's in store.... :) 

Back after a break

Hi there, it's been a while since my last post. Ya, like it matters to you or the world if I don't write a post for a month :-p...   Ha ha .... Who cares!

Using excuses like - "I was very busy" or "There is no time left to blog with my hectic work schedule" is not going to help. Well... there are lots of things happening around so for the moment, I'm taking it all in & enjoying things as they come. Time flies for sure but I staunchly believe that not only can time fly, it can also shoot off at lightning speed making you wonder where it all went.
1. For starters, there's a change of place coming up soon. The land of dreams will now give way to a land of promise.
2. Hubby dear, M, has been away for a couple of months on a work assignment. So looking forward to seeing him soon. Spending the wedding anniversary alone sucks ! :( Not that, mom, dad & baby bro didn't cheer me up. But still celebrations with that "someone special" is always different...

BTW, today is the day.... "Happy Anniversary" hon.......   :)

3. It's a rough ride as I wrap up work on the current project because life has gone for a complete toss.

Isn't it frustrating when you are expected to clean up the mess some else did or didn't do? And such occasions become a critical criteria to judge your performance for the appraisals. So this is nice - Make the mess, leave, assign another person to clean up the mess & award/criticize based on the results !

But on the brighter side, you get to challenge yourself with new tasks & learn a lot in the deal.

4. As I start packing to re-locate to a new place, there are these 1 million errands & paperwork that need closure. So getting a lot of exercise now-a-days by running, walking, dancing around, freaking out on the countdown of remaining days, traveling, purchasing, arguing & some more freaking out. Helps burn the available calories too.

5.  One prime thing that never gets addressed a midst all this pandemonium is sitting down & talking to mom dad. You "run" all over with your pending things & they patiently help you to reduce the trauma. Just the thought of going away from them dampens my spirit & makes me wanna go - "Boo hoo"... Never realized how the past 2 months passed away in their house, in their company.

This phase will end soon, starting a new one....

Excited to the core.... !

But tearful at the thought !  

Happy Beginnings.... :)

We are celebrating Vishu today which is the beginning of a New Year observed by all Malayalees & Palakkad Tamils. Honestly, as kids, my brother & I never understood the meaning of Vishu or the significance of seeing the Vishu-kani first thing in the morning. But the part we loved the most about this function was the vishu-kaineetam. ;p

Before I keep throwing some more regional words, let me get back to the basics.

The lucky sight/gift or Vishu-kani as it is called, is the first sight to be seen on Vishu which is considered auspicious. It mainly comprises of an arrangement (in front of God or your house temple) of different varieties of vegetables, fruits, some gold ornaments, lamps, wicks, a huge mirror, lots of flowers, a bowl of water & a bowl of currency - notes/coins. This has to be prepared the earlier night itself so that when you open your eyes on Vishu, this is your first sight of the year.

Vegetables like bitter gourd, snake gourds, fruits like grapes, bananas, apples, oranges, jackfruit or mangoes, flowers primarily yellow laburnum, some gold ornaments like a necklace, bangles, other miscellaneous items like peppercorns (spice) , lentils (dal) are placed in each half of a coconut mounted on a plate. A big mirror is kept adjacent to the arrangement so as to see the entire sight through it.

Vishu-kaineetam is the custom where all elders in the house have to gift money to all young family members and I mean it; you cannot to choose to skip giving away money to some people. 'Kaineetam' roughly translated as pocket money ranges from as low as Re 1 to a very generous Rs. 500 or even more :)

Usually the eldest family member in the household is the most unfortunate in these cases as there is no one to give him / her money in return. Its a time to collect money & spend that earned amount for goodies, chocolates or anything you want. Mom dad cant ask you to give them the money for household expenses as YOU have rightfully earned it by doing namaskaram (the full obseisance posture by boys & the partial posture done by girls) to all the elders in the family.

Getting this pocket money on Vishu has always remained a treat for my sibling & me to compete & see who makes the most money. :)

A feast (with exquisite curries, raitas) is served at lunchtime. This has to be a combination of sweet, salty, sour & spicy food. Traditional attires are brought out of the wardrobe to be flaunted in all finery. I really saw a lot of heads turning in office today as I was in a traditional Malayalee set saree & all others in the campus were in Friday casuals.

Time to go & gorge on some mouth-watering payasum (kheer) for now....

Here's wishing everyone a very Happy Vishu!

For more information on this festival - click here or here.

Ciao ... :)

I miss you Thatha !

'Thatha', in Tamil, means 'Grandfather'.... Though for me, this word has been the substitute for many other synonyms like - parent, teacher, guardian, pillar, strength and what not...

My dear thatha, I need to thank you -

1) For always being there for me no matter what the situation or circumstance

2) For showering me with your unconditional love & blessings 24/7/365 days

3) For taking care of me more as a daughter than a grand-kid

4) For showing utmost concern irrespective of whether you were 50 or 75 yrs old

5) For ensuring I got the best of all worlds my entire life with you

Why you mean so much to me is because -

1) You kept vigil patiently outside the hospital room and slept on the cold floors while your hours-old first grand-kid struggled to breathe in the incubator for being born prematurely

2) For your family, you were always strict, strong & rigid while you turned soft, mellow & caring for me

3) You would always send me gifts while I grew up in a far away land in my early years

4) You would always speak to me on an international phone call every Friday to check on how your little princess is doing

5) You would always call me your "Koyandai" - little baby in Tamil (which hit me hard after you left as I have no one who calls me that now in the same way as you did)

6) You never reprimanded or shouted at me but always chose to pick / correct my brother. It just proved how much you loved me.

7) Every year during vacations you would come to the airport to pick us up & see us off without fail. Not once do I remember you saying - I am old now. I cant come to see you off at the airport.

7) You open-heartedly welcomed your grand-kid to come stay with you to ensure she can complete her higher studies in Mumbai

8) In the absence of my parents, you accompanied me to my numerous admission processes there-after without any excuse

9) You cooked for me & made dishes the way mom would make (not once did you allow me to enter the kitchen for fear of me getting hurt)

10) When I was seriously ill during my final year practicals, you climbed 5 floors to my college & waited for me to complete the exams to take me back home

11) You treated my college-mates & friends specially & made them feel at home always

12) You left an everlasting mark on all my college staff - right from the principal to my professors (they still remember you)

13) You always accompanied me to all my dance competitions or programmes & equally rejoiced with me when I won the prize 

14) You collected & treasured snaps of my childhood

15) You adjusted when I was having trouble with the generation gap in my initial years in Mumbai as an adult

16) You wanted me to take the job in Mumbai than the one in Pune just so that I dont go far away from you

17) You never complained that I never called you during my 7-month tenure in UK

18) You always had a soft corner for 2 people in your family - one was your son and the other was ME !

I never got to know my maternal grandmom the way I got to know & live with my maternal grandpa but I now realise that God wanted me to experience the love of both grandparents in one human being - in 'YOU'.

The 'Nirapara' ritual (filling up of a brass vessel with rice or sugar till it overflows to God; praying to Lord Ayyappa to always bless us with enough food & having no days of hunger) which you started for my good health 26 yrs back still continues.... thanks to you...

And today, being your 3rd death anniversary reminds me of the last moments you spent on the hospital bed besides those 2 people who have remained your favorites since their births - your son & me ! When I come to think of it, I feel blessed that I got to see you at the end. I needed that to feel your presence thereon every time.

I can never thank you enough for the role you have played in my life. I really miss you Thatha ! May your soul rest in peace !

Try, try, try until you succeed at ........ BLOGGING !

True ! This being my 3rd & probably the last attempt in creating a blog. Hopeful this time round, of having the patience to maintain it, the energy to flood it with my thoughts, experiences, opinions and most importantly & necessarily - finding the time to write amidst my crazy schedule of work, home, dance etc etc.

My first encounter of an actual blog was over 5 years ago when I had just started working soon after college. A junior in college happened to chat with me online and requested me read his blog. Pardon me my lack of knowledge at that time, but I was confused and didnt understand what he meant. I waited patiently for him to explain ... till he pinged back with a web link. Unsure of what to do next, I replied - "Sure" and thought that that was probably it. Until he again pinged and asked me to give him feedback of what I thought of his writing skills. So I clicked away to take a look at his so-called 'blog' and reached a full length page recorded on that day. It took me some time to understand the purpose of writing one's personal views & thoughts on the internet and not just keep it with oneself but share it with friends, family & all.

I did read the junior collegian's blog for a while till I got busy with my other stuff. I again found myself in the same spot a couple of years later when a close office friend kept telling me to read his blog whenever we would speak, chat & blabber. I would always end up promising to read it & then forget. He eventually succeeded one day when he was speaking with me over the office line and emailed me his blog link.

"Right now?" - was my question when he asked me to tell him what I thought of it right away. He said - "Yes please. I want you to read it now." I must admit with his amazing writing skills, anyone would stay hooked to his blog. He inspired me to start a blog of my own.

Knowing the only person who I knew would read my blog, I asked him to read mine as soon as my first post was ready (yes I had resorted to coaxing my friend to read the post during office hours the same way he cajoled me ;-)). And thus I found my first follower.

My first blog didnt survive beyond a month or so due to an onsite work assignment. As I did not have a laptop or a net connection at my beck & call for nearly 6 months, I had long forgotten about my blog. On returning back to India, I did replenish my blog with few posts but that didnt seem to continue for very long either.

Getting back to the same blog again seemed a bit boring to me so VOILA... I ended up creating a new blog couple of years later with a new name, link..... everything new. I even accredited the new-found inspiration to another office colleague whose blog link I happened to read through Facebook. A well-written blog; her blog turned out to be a nice read with positive thoughts & good experiences. However, my 2nd blog also ceased to exist post December last year.

A new resolution, a new thought in a new year - one of my New Year's resolutions was to record atleast 1 exciting thought that I encounter every week in a blog. While I had the excitement & enthusiasm to kick-start the 3rd blog right away, God & my laptop had thoughts of their own. And so one fine day, my laptop decides that maybe it should not start everytime I switch on the device & that it should probably take its own call making my life harder. 3 months down into the year and what was originally supposed to start with a New Year thought has now started with a new quarter beginning & a new laptop ! ;)

Oh well, better late than never ! Welcome to the 3rd blog I am writing. Definitely intend to keep this one going for some time. Will I be successful 3rd time round?

Hmmm..... Going by the famous proverb and by a third trial, I am surely headed towards success ! :-)